5 months ago, this could have ended in DISASTER

 We had the whole family over for Sunday dinner today. It’s obviously a joyful experience and great for catching up. I think overall we had ten people- so it’s no mean feat. 

My wonderful wife did the majority of the cooking… I think my contribution in that department was stirring gravy… hmmm huge task. 

It was a relief to see everyone tucking in to the food and letting out positive noises about how tasty it was. 

In the past, well until about 5 months ago, I’d have drank my way through the entire experience to numb the worry and stress of it all, not to mention the fear I’d be experiencing too. The consequences would have been at the least a sore head in the morning, and at the worst the day could well have been spoiled with me falling out with every single diner and ruining my relationships with each of them.

Not now though. I haven’t drank alcohol for almost 5 months and I’m very proud of this. I sit and write this now with a very clear head and I know there will be no vomiting in the morning. I’m in a much stronger position to handle the things life throws at you. 

Yes it’s obviously still stressful catering to a large group of people, and yes I still worried if they’d like it and yes I still worried how my little boy would behave through it all plus endless other things. 

I have recently realised why I used to drink. It was to numb any feelings, good or bad, that weren’t what I was used to. I was using alcohol as a protective shield almost to anaesthetise any feelings I had. It was like a bubble I hid inside. What I didn’t realise was that living inside that alcohol bubble was strangling me and was cutting off my lifeblood- without me even realising it. 

Not drinking doesn’t take worries away. But now I don’t drink, I have been able to take a step back, and approach whatever happens in a calm, clear manner- and when I had completed the mountains of washing up I could look back on a job well done. A job done without using a crutch. A job done without hiding. A job done where I can begin to process and listen to my feelings- good or bad. 

Plus- it’s simply stupid and unfair on everyone to be lay in bed with a stinking hangover when I should be playing with my little boy. It’s such a relief and a burden lifted to say that I don’t drink. 

If you are thinking of giving up drink then having done it, I can recommend it. It’s not boring either- you see the world through fresh, brighter eyes and I personally feel I have a lot more energy, not to mention more money in my pocket!